How God Set Me Free from a Stronghold

Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses, and said, "Let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it." 31 But the men who had gone up with him said, "We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we. Numbers 13:30-31 The people planned to go back to Egypt before there was even a physical battle they had already been defeated in their mind.

I had a 7 year friendship with one person I thought was my soul mate. It started with a very strong attraction that grew into infatuation, then since it didn't get passed that point it turned into a friendship. We were so close that the thought of not having this person in my life was unbearable, so I preferred to have him as a friend than not having him around at all. I thought it was a gesture of true love on my part... I was actually proud that I could sacrifice myself by being around him without actually being with him.

Year after year I was there... through thick and thin. Every time anybody would remotely suggest that this could be a dysfunctional relationship is as if they hit a wall with me. I would become very, very uncomfortable, I would avoid the subject all together or would get a bit defensive, sometimes I felt fear that someone could see through what was really there. And what was there, I couldn't understand myself, I thought it was love. So much that I would have married him in a second if he had asked.

In my mind, I was battling with this thing "relationship" that had such a hold on me. I couldn't see myself with anybody else and even if I tried I became anxious when I was away from my friend for too long. It always felt soooo good coming back to him, being part of his life and experience again the sense of familiarity (oh my Egypt). As uncomfortable as I was actually with how things were, that uncomfortable feeling was so familiar and habitual to me that I preferred it over the uncertainty and PAIN that would come if I did anything different, because every time I tried to do something different I felt anxiety, fear and sadness. I'd think, I just miss him.

Disaster came when my beloved friend started to hang out with other people... I felt our friendship was in jeopardy, I felt scared, I felt chills to my bones, I realized I had to do something because the inevitable had begun to happen and I didn't know how to handle it. I was so lost in this relationship that I didn't know what to do, where to go? Nothing brought that sense of comfort... so much had revolved around him already.

One night he told me he felt we were growing apart and I told him I felt the same way, we decided it was best not to hold on and just let things follow their natural course. I was devastated; however, we had service that night and I was so broken after the conversation... I sat through the whole service and when it was over I went up to the altar, the pain was too much and I didn't want to struggle with that situation any more. I needed the Lord to intervene, one of the ladies that was ministering came over and prayed and sang a song over me "Freedom reigns in this place, showers of mercy and grace... there is freedom" when she was done she told me, "The Lord wants me to tell you that this is the last time you shed tears over this situation because tonight you are being set free". And guess what?? that was the last time I shed tears over that situation, the Lord set me free from the hold of that relationship, so much so that I realized all those feelings I had, all the "sacrifice" I was making, all the "love" I thought I had and the sense of what an extremely wonderful man he was... everything was gone in a short period of time. You see, the relationship was meeting a need, it was filling a void, and it became habitual, familiar and comfortable for years, despite the painful reality beneath.

I would have never shared this because it was embarrassing, but I know I had strongholds that came down with the power of the Holy Spirit that night. And I feel an obligation to let people know because many of us experience things such as this, maybe it's not a relationship, maybe is something else but if you ever feel like there is an area in your life that every time it's mentioned or it's approached you put up this invisible wall because is just too scary, uncomfortable and/or painful to deal with. It may be a stronghold and God does not want our minds to be in chains, He doesn't want our minds and emotions to be held captive by anything because it becomes fertile ground for our enemy satan.

Being captive hinders us from growing, flowing in life and experiencing God's best for us. And when we continue to guard these areas of captivity we are not only deceiving ourselves but we are actually putting them over God.

Is there a need in your life that you think God can't meet?
Are there areas in your life that you are afraid God will want you to surrender and you think you can't?
Are there things or areas in your life that you had surrendered to God and then took back later?
Are you constantly defending an area of your life out of fear, and you are even using biblical scriptures to justify your position or belief?
Is there anything robbing you of your freedom that has such a grip on you it controls you?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions you may be sabotaging yourself of the things God wants you to enjoy, you may be wondering in the dessert when God is wanting to take you into His land that flows with milk and honey and where you'll find all the promises and blessings He has for you.

I pray that God will give his children the courage and discernment we need to face life; that grace will abound for the captive soul. Jesus died so that we may be set free in all areas, let's grab hold of the authority we have in Christ to conquer victory over fear... let's claim the land that God has given us, not letting the enemy defeat us in our minds before we even put up a fight. Let's not make plans to go back to Egypt. Let's prefer to suffer for a while now in God's will than to be deceived in Egypt later.

Enamorada de Cristo

Así como flor marchita, cabizbaja vivia anhelando experimentar aunque fuera un poquito la esencia de Tu amor. Ahora lo estoy comenzando a vislumbrar y a sentirlo cálido en mi corazón. Y te necesito y te busco como aquella flor que cuando sale el sol se postra mirandolo hasta que el se oculta en el ocaso.
¡Yo soy esa flor y Tu eres mi sol, mi todo, mi amado, mi Cristo!

I Want to Be a Blessing

Lord, I have been desiring to get my life in order in the aspect of finances.
I feel as if I am sinking in debt, I don't know how I am going to come up with the money that my dad needs that is an emergency.
I am hurting because I wish with all my heart to be a blessing to your kingdom. Please provide for me that I may be able to bless your people and others. In the matter of becoming the woman you want me to be, I want to be a prudent one, not only in the way in which I conduct my self and relate to others but in my finances. I want to be a blessing to the man I you'll bring to my path to marry. It's my heart's desire to contribute to my marriage and be a blessing to my husband not a burden.
Lord, please help! I need a miracle! Please give me wisdom to be a good steward with the material blessings you will bring to my life. And forgive me for the past years in which many times I spent money without consideration. I am not that person any more, please help me get back on my feet that my life will reflect the prudent and wise woman you are calling me to be.
Thank you, I love you Lord. Amen.

"Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" Amos 3:3

Walking with God changes your heart's desires. So the desires my heart will have as a result of a life in constant comunion with God are morelikely to be God's desires for me because my heart is aligned to God's. Then I'll finally be praying God's will for my life and see my prayers answered for me.

It's about changing my heart to want what God wants, not changing God's heart to make Him do what I want. That's why we pray "let YOUR will be done on earth as it is in heaven." It doesn't say, "let MY will be done in heaven as it is on earth."

I want to walk together with God to the point where my heart's desires are a direct fruit of such communion. I need to know what is God's will for my life in all areas.

I dont' want to give my heart to the wrong things and the wrong people, getting my hopes up to later be dissapointed.

I need you Lord to open up my eyes to see what you want me to do. I need to change... I need to get my life in order financially, personally and spiritually. Help me come out of debt, take care of my family in Mexico, give me the strength to do all the stuff... paying bills, cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, cooking, excercising, practicing my drums, work, and school.

Lord please forgive me for all the time that I felt sorry for myself... my heart was broken into a thousand pieces and I didn't think I could pull myself together, I needed your grace and your strength, which you provided all the way. There were moments when anguish took over and almost crushed my spirit. If it hadn't been for the strength you gave me during those nights... I don't know where I would be. Yet I call myself victorious because in You I remained and fruit of that suffering will manifest in my life in due time, of that I have no doubt.

So I pray Lord, in humbleness that all the suffering was part of a preparation to be a loving and patient wife to the man you'll give me, and prepare that man... that he will love you, fear you and be lead by you, and that he will truly and passionately love me for who I am.

Hearts Like Children

15 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Mark 10:15 I am amazed at the way this can apply to our lives here on earth... we cannot see the kingdom (Cannot appreciate God's will and His blessings) unless we have hearts like children that are not contaminated by our stubborn ways of thinking.

I recently watched the first episodes of the old series Different Strokes, in which Arnold & Willis had just moved into Mr. Drummond's house. Arnold was so excited about his new home and having all the new toys and things that he could only have dreamed of, while Willis was angry he couldn't appreciate any of it and he couldn't feel happy. He wanted to go back to where he came from. Ultimately, he didn't trust Mr. Drummond.

I need God's grace to become more like Arnold and to trust God with the trust of a child in every circumstance.

I want to have a pure heart and be able to see things more like God; appreciate the seasons in my life and experience things in the way that He would want me to experience them and learn and grow from all of it so that even in the trials I can still say I am victorious, and my loss becomes my gain as I yield to Him.

I need your grace Lord. I don't know how to live this life sometimes... but thank you because you are God, whose faithfulness is unfailing, and whose mercy renews every morning.

I want to give you my life completely, help me, show me, strengthen me to walk with you in a way that is pleasing to you. And forgive me for all my rebellions and sins.